1 week and 1 day

We are coming down to the end... We have been through so much the past few weeks.. i started going to the Chiro 3 times a week which has been a God send!! My tension headaches have been next to none and it has really helped the pressure of my hips and lower back having the proper realignment every few days!! I passed the 4 hr glucose test with flying colors, We started and completed our birthing classes, I passed the group b strep test, I was 1cm dilated at 35weeks, Crazily measured 40wks at 36wks with the dr giving us a scare that lil man was already 10lbs, Had a growth ultrasound at 37wks that showed the lil guy measuring right at 37wks with the approximate weight of 7.1 lbs at that time, and at 38wks I was dilated to 2cm with the cervix softening... So we are moving right along.. We were blessed with 3 showers one being a couples shower thrown by our church family and it was such a blast to have Daniel there!! And my work did a surprise luncheon and Daniels work friends have been bringing in gifts left and right... Lucas is definitely one blessed lad!! We have got everything ready and waiting for him.. Just have a lil bit of our laundry to do and of course would love to have the bathrooms and rest of the house spot cleaned before his arrival!! But from the looks of it he doesn't seem to be going anywhere right now so I guess we have time... Daniel for sure thought he would come this weekend and has been all psyched up about it and even has had me a lil anxious but as I sit here the weekend is almost over and I still have a baby in my belly and have extremely HUGE swollen elephant ankles/feet.. Actually if you have seen the movie Wall-E my legs, ankles, and feet look like the that of the fat people on the ship who hadn't walked our exercised for years...lol can't wait to be back to normal again!! Hopefully times flies and we get to hold our lil guy very soon I know he has a mommy and daddy and lots and lots of others that want him here super quick!! I have pics of me and my belly, the finished nursery, our beloved bugaboo stroller etc that I want to post... Just gotta find the transfer cord first :o( hopefully I can get it up soon!! Hope to post pics of Lucas soon as well!!

Time is flying: 8 weeks & 3 days to go..

We are on our way to the finish line!! As usual we have been busy busy busy.. I have been feeling good just trying to stay cool in this wonderful HOT HUMID Florida weather I live in... We have now reached the point where we go to the doctor every 2 weeks which totally makes time fly!! Next week I have a Chiropractic appointment, a 4hr glucose tolerance test (Yes I failed the the 1hr test because I had ice cream cake and a glass of milk for dinner the night before!!), and my 32 week check up... Other than some minor aches and pains (hopefully the chiropractor can fix these) and some feet swelling (which the HOT weather doesn't help) I have been feeling pretty good... I have notice that occasionally some of the tiredness and nausea that was experienced in the 1st trimester has tried to sneak back up on me but I have been coping pretty well... As for Lucas he is very active although he hasn't let Daddy feel him move around very much when ever he tries lil man stops moving.. He is measuring on the smaller side so they are thinking he will be a tiny guy which is fine with us as long as he is healty.. He has a very strong heart beat and is doing good... Daniel and I are getting anxious and excited about the arrival of him with every day that passes!! We start birthing classes this coming Tuesday night and are looking fwd to that... Of course we are trying to use every spare minute we have to get things ready here on the home front which for those of you who know our lives we don't have many spare minutes available ;o) I was blessed to have my first baby shower with some of our family and close family friends this past Saturday May 30th (I can't even believe it is time for showers!!) It was such a lovely shower given to us by Daniel's Aunt Becky, Cousin Jessica, and our dear friends Courtenay and Vicky.. I am so thankful for all the blessings we have begun to receive for Lucas it is amazing how giving and generous people are and how much his life is already being sown into.. I am thankful for the lil guy that is continuing to grow in side of me.. As I'm typing Daniel is busily putting the second coat of baby blue on the nursery walls.. He has been so great!! He worked so hard on the bathroom it looks great and now is determined to get the nursery room finished!! I took some pics of the bathroom (It is my favorite thing ever!!) and of few of the bedding in the crib so I'm going to post them.. Hopefully we can get the nursery put back together after this second coat of paint goes on and I will take some pics and post them as well..

Godly Heritage

God has really been dealing with me this week about mine and Daniel's Godly heritage. My older cousin was killed in an automobile accident this past weekend and when my mom called to tell me my first thoughts were dear God please don't let him be in hell.. Although he was raised differently and lived a different life style than me he was still given the same opportunities at an early age to accept Christ and we know that he did when he was 7yrs old and again in his early twenties... But from the outside appearance that is all he did to acknowledge God's existence in his life.. He chose to live his life the best he knew how which most of the time didn't work out so well for him.. He chose choices that weren't the best and got himself into trouble time and time again.. So as I've been watching my mom sisters side of the family deal with this sudden tragedy they have been coping with Alcohol etc.. I've found myself silently standing by watching from the outside thanking God for who He is and what He has done for me.. I look at mine and Daniels lives and I am so thankful that someone somewhere prayed and interceded for us that somewhere down our family line someone called us forth to be who we are today.. Don't get me wrong mine and Daniel's parents did their share of sowing into us and praying forth who we are today but if you stop and think about it generations before us sowed into who we are by even praying our parents forth.. As we continue to prepare for Lucas I am constantly reminded that he is who God has given to Daniel and I.. He is our miracle he is the one that we spent many nights crying out to God for.. In Psalms 127:3-5 it says that Sons are the heritage from the Lord, children are a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies at the gate. As I read that this morning I was hit with 2 thoughts: 1st Daniel and I have a ton of spiritual sons and daughters that we have been given to pour into.. At times I feel like they drain me constantly but I am getting a fresh breath of air realizing that we are pouring into their spiritual heritage and destiny and I am honored to be given such a job!! Second Our Son Lucas is the heritage of the Lord he is a gift that God is giving us to raise up pour into and release into the destiny that is before him.. Psalms 138:13-18 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of the came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. So today I am thankful that my son is being born into Godly heritage that he has a calling and a destiny on his life even inside the womb.. I am thankful that he is being fearfully and wonderfully made and is being in trusted to Daniel and I to love and raise and to have a son to pass on our Godly heritage to!! I pray that he is a light to this world and even his story is a light into both sides of our unsaved family.. As my side of the family deals with life being stolen I pray that the joy of Lucas opens their eyes to the joy and love of our father!! Today I am thankful that mine and Daniel's parents prayed for us and sowed into us.. I'm thankful for the many generational curses that my parents broke off of me before I was born so that I didn't have to walk down that same road as family members in the past.. I am thankful for the knowledge of who He is and for all that He has done in mine and Daniel's lives.. I'm thankful for the calling that we have individually and as a couple and a soon to be family.. Today I am thankful for LIFE and GODLY HERITAGE!!

I know its been forever...

March 18th:
Our ultra sound was scheduled for 3:15 and we were able to take Brianna and Sydney with us. The whole day was very nerve racking was it a boy or girl? I picked up the girls from school and then we headed to meet Daniel and then over to the doctors. They were able to get us right back and the ultra sound began the tech loves this baby!! She started with the top of the head and kept saying what a cute head its so cute.. She asked the girls what they wanted a boy or girl (I guess Daniel and I looked old enough to have a 14yr old and a 10yr old) Syd quickly spoke up and said Um we want a girl!! Bri just shrugged her shoulders.. She then began to ask dad do you play basket ball, do you play baseball, do you want to coach lil league, because its a boy... I remember just laying there feeling numb and the look on Syds face was as if we had just smashed her dreams (calm down before you start judging the reactions I'll explain!) Daniel and I quickly started telling Syd all the great things about boys and how much fun we were going to have...The tech continued to say what a cute baby he is so cute..As soon as we found out Daniel called my mom for me because I still had to see the doctor and we were on a time crunch to get her the news because my dad was on his way out of the country and his plane was leaving.. We then started sending the text out and Daniel made a few calls...After the appointment we went straight to Babies R Us to get our selves in boy mode considering we had a whole pink nursery fully stocked with girl clothes waiting for us a home and absolutely nothing blue.. We all looked around at all the boy stuff and bought a few outfits since the lil lad didn't have anything... After our trip to Babies R Us we were off to church the girls enjoyed recapping the doctors appoint with Marissa and showing her the pictures and DVD of the ultra sound.. After church we meet Daniel's parents for a late night dinner they were both really excited and bought us some boy baby clothes.. The whole day was kind of a blur the fact that it turned out being a boy was such a shock to us...WE PRAYED FOR A LIL GIRL FOR 2 YEARS!! We have day dreamed of a lil girl our whole relationship together a boy was always in our distant thought of oh one day we would like to have a boy too BUT our little girl was the main focus forever.. So with that thought in my head I wasn't really sure what emotion to feel..

March 19th:
Time to get rid of the pink... I woke up with a mission to pack up every single bit of pink all the clothes bedding etc.. As I began to pack everything up I was yet again faced with the challenge of knowing that ultimately God is in complete control and He is good and knows what He is doing!! Its not always our ways or our timing in fact I don't think it ever is :o) AS I packed up all the pink and sobbed and mourned the thought of a girl and also the loss of Kayleigh I realized that I still had some "girl" healing that I needed to deal with... That entire pink nursery was full of Kayleigh memories and all though we had purchased tons of brand new clothes for a new lil girl on top of the ones that were Kayleighs the room was still full of "old" vision.... God really dealt with me that day that He wasn't ignoring our prayers for a lil girl or punishing us by giving us something other than what we had cried out for.. He showed me that He was starting us out fresh with a new vision from Him.. He was giving us His best and allowing us to start out new not just replacing what we had lost the year before.. When I was able to grasp that I was able to get excited about our lil man that God hand picked him and is fearfully and wonderfully making him into who He wants him to be for such as time as this!! So our boy journey begins.. Daniel placed an order for the bedding that we had found online asap and we started researching names and looking at all the boy stuff options..

March 22nd:
And he shall be called Lucas Tiago Rumbach.. We have settled on his name and love it.. Tiago is Portuguese for James and a name I absolutely have loved ever since I first heard it in Brasil.. In fact I really wanted that to be the first name but knowing our family Daniel and I both knew that they would never be able to pronounce it right so it was better to make it the middle name ;o) The meaning of his name is bringer of light, one who supplants... Luminous, supplanter.. Having a name to call him is just one more step in embracing the lil guy it has helped me be able to connect more with him and to have a name to pray for has definitely helped in the connection process...

March 30th - April 3rd
My birthday and our anniversary week was a jam packed fun filled time... I started feeling Lucas move off and on it has still been very faint.. We left for Disney on the 31st which was my birthday... We were excited about going because Disney all this year is offering a one day free park admission on your birthday but for us since we already have a pass we got a gift card equal to a park admission.. So we got a free $75 to spend... We have decided to do the extra bathroom in Mickey and figured when our lil girl comes it would be easy to add Minnie in there as well.. So we bought some Mickey towels and had Lucas' name embroider on them.. They turned out sooo cute I can't wait to get the bathroom done.. Mr Lucas also got a ton of disney clothes with Mommies birthday gift card... We also went to the outlets and found a few cute things... It has become more noticeable to us that boy clothes are super hard to find!! We have been use to buying girl clothes on the clearance rack for dirt cheap and that just isn't the case for boy clothes they aren't cheap and most of them are pretty silly looking... So our search has been on to add to Lucas' wardrobe with cool clothes not silly ones... It was nice spending the week with Daniel we had a lazy Anniversary day Friday and didn't leave the house till that night.. We had no plans for the evening just went to the town center and walked around and enjoyed being together.. It got fairly late and the stores were closing so Daniel started quizzing me on where I wanted to eat.. And as normal I didn't have a idea good thing he had something up his sleeve a surprise dinner at the melting pot.. We love that place!! It is soooo good and a perfect ending to our long week!!

April 13th - 17th:
I woke up early monday morning and was barely able to make to the bathroom because i was sooo dizzy.. The dizziness continued into the morning and was really bad I called the OB and the nurse told me to rest and drink water she then called back and said that the doctor said it could be an inner ear infection so I should go see our primary care doctor... Daniel was able to get me in for a late an appointment and came home and took me.. The doctor checked over everything my pressure was good, my ears looked good, he made me touch my nose, close my eyes all kinds of stuff to check my balance I guess and said hat everything looked fine.. He wrote up a lab request for some blood work to check my iron and some other stuff and the gave me a RX for some dizziness med...The meds def helped!! No matter how bad i was feeling Lucas was still active off and on through out the day..
Tuesday I woke up feeling better no dizziness but I had a super bad headache and was suppose to go in for the blood work.. I called my OB to check on the medication the doctor had given me to make sure that it was pregnancy safe and to talk to them about the blood work.. The OB said I could just do the blood work in there office since I was going there Wednesday... Lucas was pretty sluggish through out the day and I hadn't really felt him to much... Finally when I got to work he started moving around I made sure to let Daniel know he was moving because he was concerned.. He is so attentive to me and what Lucas is doing he can't wait to be able to feel him and I can't wait to share that experience with him...
Wednesday I went to my OB appointment the doctor I was going to see was at a delivery so I saw the nurse practitioner who was really nice... My weight has continued to be good, my pressure was good and Mr.Lucas' heart beat was very strong she commented that we were going to have an active boy on our hands because you could hear him moving all around.. She went ahead and sent me for my blood work but wasn't too concerned with the dizzy spells... I was able to schedule our 4d ultra sound and my glucose test for the same day so we will go May 13th for my doctors appointment and ultra sound... when I go to school we had an African group doing a program for us... Lucas loved all of the percussion he was so active it made me laugh i wished someone else could feel him dancing all around!!
Friday morning before Daniel headed out to work he had the realization that we have 5weeks before our first shower is being thrown for us.. It sent him into a lil bit of a panic mode because we have TONS to do to get the nursery ready which we would like to do before we start bringing stuff home.. You know perfect plans have a place for everything not sure if it will happen but its on our goal sheet now just to find some time ;o)

Happy Birthday..

Happy 2nd Birthday Kayleigh Poo... We sure do miss you!!

Busy Busy Busy

We have had a busy weekend... Saturday was Valentines day and we spent a quiet evening at home due to the nasty rainy weather that graced us and the fact that Daniel was feeling under the weather. So we just stayed home and enjoyed time together and even though Daniel wasn't feeling well he still managed to surprise me with a yummy home cooked Whole Foods dinner and bought me beautiful Whole Foods flowers... We love that place if only it was closer!!! Then on Sunday after church we headed off for a Disney getaway... We were anxious to get there because Amanda and Chester were already there with little William for his first Disney trip. We enjoyed meeting up with them and spending some quality time together although lil man might not remember the trip he was still so cute taking in everything!! The Spellmans had to head out that evening but we stayed over night. We took Monday casually and enjoyed our day off and our time together... Then this morning it was off to the doctor I was sad yesterday because I knew that Daniel wasn't going to be able to go to this appointment with me. But this morning he woke up still not feeling well so he didn't go into work which meant he could go to the appointment with me and then come home and rest... This appointment was short and sweet they took my blood pressure, weight and listened to the baby's heart and then the dr. went over my blood work results. She said things were looking good, my pressure is good, my weight is good, and all of my blood work came back normal and looked good, and the baby's heart sounded good... So today's report all across the board was GOOD! So our next appointment is scheduled for Wednesday March 18th and this appointment as long as wiggle worm is cooperative we will have the ultra sound to find out the sex and also they will look at the baby's heart, lungs, brain etc to track the development and then I will have a routine check-up... AAAHH another month of waiting!! We have waited for 4 months already so I know we can do it but I sure was hoping it wouldn't be that much longer of a wait.

Wiggle Worm

Yesterday morning was our 1st ultra sound with the new doctor... MY MY HOW THE BABY HAS GROWN!!! We couldn't believe our eyes when that little one popped on the screen. We were able to bring a dvd with us this time so not only did we get a couple of pictures the actual ultra sound was recorded... It's was pretty amazing to see the baby fully formed into a baby and moving all over the place... The tech lady asked us if we wanted to know the sex if she was able to tell and of course we said YES but the little one was too active... She had a hard time getting clear still pictures because the baby was moving so much... Watching it move around was a lot of fun it kept putting its right arm up to its head almost like it was scratching or fixing its hair and then the mouth kept making sucking movements... We were also able to hear the heart beat... Up to this point we have only been able to see it beat but hearing it was pretty cool 143 bpm... The tech kept saying what a cute baby over and over which Daniel and I thought was funny because to us although we think what we saw was amazing we weren't sure how she could see cute through that black and white picture.. Guess that's why she is the expert and I'm sure she is right it will be cute... She reported that everything looked good and that the baby was measuring right to date so we were very pleased although we were disappointed that we couldn't find out if it was a boy or girl we are definitely thankful that everything is looking good and healthy... Still waiting for the second trimester bliss that everyone has told me about to kick in though.. I still haven't been able to sleep through the night without getting up and going to the bathroom no joke a good 6 times a night and I have had a lot of sinus pressure and congestion which is no fun drug less... I'm told all the time this to shall pass so I'm still waiting as patient as I can... For now we have a check-up appointment scheduled for Feb. 17th and then at that time they will hopefully give us the date for our next ultra sound lets just hope by then little wiggle worm slows down some so that we can see what it is... Daniel and I are very anxious to know what it is we've got lots to do and we want to buy everything we see and are having to hold back which is no fun WE WANT TO SHOP!!

Time with my nephew...

My Sister-n-law had to go back to work on Mondays. So starting today I will have the privilege to spend some time with my nephew on Monday mornings before I have to go to work. We had a fun filled morning playing, eating, and sleeping he is a real joy to be with very easy going and happy. Thanks to Kayleigh living with us we have lots of fun things for him to explore.
He loved playing with the music light stage:




The bouncer seat wasn't bad either:

The boppy and floor gym were a real hit:


He approved baby cousins crib to be a worthy sleeping place:


It was a fun morning I'm looking forward to the time I will get to spend with little William.

First OB appointment

Daniel and I took one of our traditional trips to Disney after church on Sunday and spent the day there on Monday. Upon our return home we were thrown quickly out of vacation mode back into "life" Daniel went to leave for work on Tuesday morning and his car wouldn't start YEA fun! So with some creative thinking and help from my mommy we were able to borrow cars and make it to our first appointment with the Women's Physicians of Jacksonville. First we meet with the nurse that takes care of all the pregnancy patients. She was nice and very informative we went through all of our "history" and she gave us tons of magazines and a book to read. She also went through step by step the next few months of the different stages of appointments that we would have. Then we were off to the exam room where we would meet the dr. and I would be examined. For this appointment we meet with Dr. Sharon Desmarais she talked with us for a while then she did the exam I had the regular first time examination and then also she did a sonogram to check the babies heart beat. We could definitely see that the baby has grown significantly and the heart beat was still beating strong. We were a little disappointed that we didn't get a picture of this sonogram but we were thankful to get to see our little one on the screen. We will get to go back on Feb. 6th and have a sonogram done where we will get more pictures and also we are able to bring in a DVD so that should be exciting. Also at this appointment they recommend you have all this genetic testing to done to determine if the baby has down syndrome and all these others defects. We of course aren't believing for any problems so we are going to opt out of the testing and just have the sonogram. After the exam was over it was off to get blood drawn and as you know from my previous post I HATE NEEDLES!! Daniel was able to go with me in the room and he was laughing at me the whole time and then he started counting on his fingers with his eyes opened wide. I had no idea what he was doing until she was finished collecting my blood and I saw the 7 full vials of my blood just sitting in a basket. By that point I was really shaky due to the massive amount of blood loss and the fact that I hadn't eaten properly that morning not a good combination!! The blood drawing was our last step and then we were off to schedule our next appointments and then onto check out. Our next appointments are Feb. 6th as I mentioned for our next ultra sound and then on the 17th we have the next Dr. check up. Things are quickly moving along it is amazing that 12 weeks have past and that Monday we will be going into th 13th week which begins the 2 trimester. The first trimester has been full of lots of naps and tons of food aversions Daniel can testify to the many meals we have sat down to and I have taken 2 bites and haven't been able to finish the meal and have definitely not wanted to eat the leftovers at any other time. Everyone has assured us that the 2nd trimester is so much better that the energy will return and eating won't be an issue. I'm looking forward to this I feel like I have been useless the last 12 weeks because I have been so tired and I definitely haven't been a good dinner companion. Although nausea has been around here and there I have been extremely blessed to not have experienced the morning sickness that so many others have. So with that said we are looking forward to this next leg of our journey and of course we are anxiously awaiting the week that we can find out what are little one is a boy or girl.

9 Weeks done JUST 30 weeks and 6 days to go...

Since the last blog Christmas has quickly come and gone... Daniel and I did some traveling and lots of running around and entertaining... Considering I was already feeling tired all the festivities really kicked my butt and I was left with very low energy levels by the end... Although the holidays were filled with lots of hustle and bustle we were truly thankful the entire season for our blessing that has been given to us!!

We went in yesterday December 29th for our last appointment with the fertility doctor when we arrived at 7am the office was a ghost town which is totally unusual for a Monday morning. I signed in and we were immediately whisked back for vitals and then off to the exam room. This was the first time that we had seen our actual doctor since our first round of AI he was out for our last round so he had lots of catching up to do. He asked all the questions that were asked at our last appointment by the other doctor and then he went to calculating... He came up with the due date of August 4th AAAHH a day later than what we were thinking but I'm still going with the 3rd :o) hey a girl can dream right!! Anyway he did the sonogram and there our little one was the doc commented how much the baby had grown and then zoomed in and boy he was right. Although little bit is still measuring 2.11cm which is still as tiny as a Lima bean we have grown out of the shape of the Lima bean we now have arms and legs you can see the spinal cord the eyes and ears and the tip of the nose is forming. The picture doesn't do the baby justice from what we could actually see in the office and yes of course we could still see the little heart beating strong. Daniel commented on how you couldn't see the heart bulging as much as we could the first time but then quickly remembered that there is a lot more baby for the heart to pump through so we probably won't be able to see the heart beat quite like we did that first time (the memories of that first sight of the heart beat still amazes us!) The doctor was pleased with our progress and felt as though it was safe to release us to a regular doctor. We have done research have talked to everyone and anyone that has had a baby to see what Doctor they have used and have even considered the birthing center here in town. But when it came down to choosing the right person we really felt like we should see who the fertility doctor would recommend considering all that we have been through we trust that he would us give the best recommendation of someone that would take as good care of us and our little one as he has. So we talked with Dr. Winslow about what we wanted in a doctor and he recommended highly recommended the Women's Physicians of Jacksonville group he told Daniel that he would send his own wife there if they were to ever have another baby. So we have our first appointment with Dr. Amy Wrennick on January 20th he reassured us that if for some reason we weren't happy at any time with this group that we can transfer over to someone else so to get started we are going to go with them and see what happens. Friends of ours from church recently had their baby at St. Lukes hospital and had nothing but good things to say about them. So last Saturday we went and took a tour and really liked what we saw. They have huge birthing suites that are fully equipped for every stage of the delivery process so you don't have to be transferred into different rooms. The suites are also equipped to take care of the baby after the delivery so that the baby never leaves the room. They focus on mother/baby care so you and your baby have the same nurse taking care of you and they also do not have a baby nursery so the baby stays with you 24/7. They were recently taking over by St. Vincents so they have been remodeling and the rooms were beautiful and the nursing staff that we came in contact with seem really nice and helpful and another pro is that they have a breastfeeding consultant at the hospital 7 days a week. So with all of that said we are onto the next phase of our journey meeting with the new doctors, picking hospitals, and just watching our little one grow and develop before our eyes. I can not finish this update without letting you all know how amazing my Daniel is... Since the moment we found out that our little one was on the way he has been over and beyond good to me. You name it he has done it cleaned, cooked, washed dishes, washed clothes, catered to me, and most of all he has been so good about praying for our little one constantly. I have been sooooo blessed with all that he has been doing for me to make sure that I am getting enough rest, not lifting things, eating properly, and reminding me to take that NASTY vitamin every night. He is truly a wonderful husband and I am extremely thankful for him and can't wait to see him holding our little one that he has waited and prayed for...

The lima bean is beating

Yesterday was the day we had our first Ultrasound... Well we have had tons of Ultrasounds but it was the first one that would show us our little one and its heart beat. When we checked-in at the dr.'s we were immediately whisked back to an exam room.....little did we know we would have a famous hour wait ahead of us it seemed like FOREVER! When the dr. finally came in he quickly began the Ultrasound after checking around to make sure that my ovaries were still clear free from cyst from the medicine it was straight into my uterus where our little one was sitting incased in its safe sac of fluid.... It was a little lima bean with a tiny little bulge that was going in and out at a super fast speed.. Yep that’s right our little bean has a heart beat the doc said it looks like it has been beating strong for a few days now. The baby is measuring right on track at 6weeks and 3days and everything looked perfect. After the exam he asked us how many rounds on AI we had endured and Daniel proudly said 2.. The Doc immediately turned to me and said WOW you’re our star you don't hear of 2 rounds very often... A star huh I sure haven't felt like a star but whatever it takes to add to our testimony of how faithful God is.. We were given another Ultrasound date of December 29th at this appointment the baby should have grown a decent amount and we can see something bigger than a lima bean... That day will also be our last appointment with the fertility doctor that alone was music to my ears!! So we have 2 weeks to find a doctor so our search is on. Daniel and I both left that appointment so excited and amazed that this was all really happening we have a little lima bean with a strong healthy heart beat growing inside of me! Daniel was so amazed that something that tiny .595 cm had a strong heart beat beating so quickly after just a short time of growing inside of me... We are way excited and now our wait begins Girl or Boy its the only surprise left....

Blood Work Round 2

So yesterday was the second round of blood work.. My appointment was later in the morning so Daniel wasn't able to go with me.. So I found myself going to get stuck with the big bad needle all by myself!! I have become quit the brave little cookie :o)
As I sat in the waiting room yesterday where every chair was full I was looking around at the faces wondering which side was everyone on? Who was on the victory side with me? Who was still waiting on the bench for their turn to bat? I listened intently to a couple who were discussing all the medicine RX that they needed to remember to ask the doctor to refill and discussing how they hoped this round would work etc. It was only 5 or so weeks ago that Daniel and I were having such similar conversations. There are no words that I can ever express to you that can make you grasp what an incredible miracle our child is to us! We have had a up close ride in the journey of reproduction and it truly is a miracle on how the timing for each and everything has to be perfect in order for life to be formed.
I got my blood work done and headed home for a nap before work.. Have I mentioned that I love naps!! Anyways the nurse called me late afternoon yesterday and said that the levels were rising appropriately and that everything was looking great and she scheduled our first ultra sound for Friday, December 12th. I quickly text Daniel after I got off the phone and explained to him that WE WERE HAVING A BABY!! For real every report we have been getting is telling us that we have overcome so that nagging fear that something is going to go wrong has to be silent!! Daily I think we are realizing that this is for real we have been so numb for so long we are having to re-learn our emotions. We are both so excited and thankful... We have been so encouraged over the past few days to hear the congratulations pour in from friends and family but most of all to hear how this blog has ministered to people... Some might be dealing with infertility others might know of someone that is and they have been sending our blog link to these ones that are hurting and longing for answers. For me that has made our journey completely worth it we have a story and a testimony and no matter how much the devil has tried to keep us silent or has tried to defeat us we will forever proclaim the goodness of our God! I am more in love with my husband and my Creator than ever before and their is an overwhelming sense of love for this new little one on the way!!

Sunday

So I just woke up from a nap... Seems like that is my favorite pass time pretty much every other day I am super tired!! It has been a long weekend, yesterday we went out to brunch with Daniel's mom's family. And then last night we went to the boat parade at the landing with our good friends and Daniel's siblings. I can't remember a time in a long time that I have been happy all day. Don't get me wrong I haven't been walking around angry 24/7 but we have suffered from tons of disappointments and I know some times I couldn't enjoy family time or especially time with friends that were pregnant. But yesterday was a new day we got to see our nephew several times and it was fun!! And Cat and I have finally gotten our wish and are both pregnant at the same time!! For those of you in our lives that have been on the other side of our walls that we have put up not because of you but because we have been hurting... Thank you so much for not giving up on us and for giving us the space that we need to heal and move on... This baby represents so many things for Daniel and I... We have longed for so long for this little miracle to come to pass in our life and I am truly thankful for our journey because we are stronger closer together and more in love with our Heavenly Father now than ever before. We have truly grasped how deep and how wide His love is!! As I stood in church today I had the honor of holding one of the new little babies in our church family and I was overwhelmed with the reality of all that God has done for us. Although it hasn't been easy we have held on to His promises as tight as we could and He has come through. Pastor Charlie announced the much awaited news to our church family and as he had us stand the whole place began to shout, cry, and clap. Daniel and I wouldn't have made it to this point without the prayers and love from our Bridge Family. Thank you to all of you who have known our situation and prayed and loved us all the way through it. And thank you to those of you who hadn't a clue but loved us through our bad day's and said words of encouragement even when you might not have known how much those were needed or what they meant. It is so incredible to have people surrounding us in our lives that have believed for this baby with us. So today for our Bridge Family we were able to remind them that God is for us and not against us! And that no matter what we are going to bring praise to Him because in all of our lives and in every season He is still God and we have a reason to sing and we have a reason to worship! Not only has God answered the cry of our heart He has also answered those around who at times would cry out louder than us when we couldn't do it anymore!! So to those people we say THANKS!!
Tomorrow I go to the dr. to have more blood work done just to make sure that my HCG levels are rising properly. Yea fun more blood work ;o) But honestly at this rate they can prick me where ever I don't care because I'M HAVING A BABY!!

Catch up on our story scroll all the way down and start with Our Journey

Nov. 27, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving! Today is the day that we are going to tell our family and a few close friends that we hadn’t already told. I was excited to share our news but there was still a sense of being careful not to tell too many to early. Daniel and I talked off and on and realized that we were letting fear run our emotion. He reassured me that we got four positive tests and positive blood work, so God had told us it was finished and we weren’t going to let anything steal our promise. I was at peace with that, I’m ready to shout it on the mountain top My God answered our prayers and we have a baby on the way!! A year and a half or so ago we ordered a Yankees maternity shirt that says Yankees then has a NY symbol on the belly with the words future fan. This was how we were going to tell the Rumbach side of the family that a baby was on the way. So we got to Daniel’s parents house and waited for everyone to get there and right before the prayer for lunch Daniel asked his family if they had heard the BIG news that the Yankees were releasing today. Of course they were all shocked and curious because they hadn’t heard anything and Daniel then pulled out the shirt and said they have discovered that they have a new fan on the way. It took a while for them to get it but when they finally did they were all excited. When his grandparents got there he told them the same way and they were thrilled we then took the same routine to his uncle’s house and told his moms whole side of the family and they were all shocked and happy.
Then it was off to my mom and dad’s who already knew the news but my aunt and grand parents hadn’t a clue. So before prayer dad said to them I guess next year we will have to set another place setting at the table and they asked why and dad told them that we were expecting a baby they were overwhelmed with joy and my granddaddy was excited he could start eating for 2.
When we left my parents we headed over to Court and Jeremy’s house we hadn’t had a chance to see their new little Elijah and wanted to tell them our news. In route he called his aunt from his dad’s side and told her. When we got to the Bowser’s we visited for a little while and held our new little nephew/cousin (he is so tiny and cute!). Daniel eventually said that he was sad that Jed was asleep because he wanted to ask him if he wanted a new cousin. Court just stood there staring at Daniel she said what and Daniel repeated then finally explained that one was on the way. I think that today telling them was my favorite because even though we haven’t had as much time together lately I know Court has been praying us through this journey for the past 2 years. So she was way shocked and ecstatic!
Throughout the day we text close friends who have believed with us for our baby and let them know of our thankful news. I made sure that I took Holly’s gag order off because we had told the families so she was free to tell the world. I really miss my big sis and am praying that she is able to be here for the birth of this little one because I NEED HER!!
So its happening I’m going to have a baby it was such a peaceful day and there are not enough words of thanks to tell Jesus how thankful we are for this precious gift and can’t wait until August 3rd to hold our little baby.


Nov. 26, 2008
Today was blood work day so we went in and had the blood work drawn. Big baby Kelly was just a tad bit nervous, ok I was freaking out about the blood work, but it surprisingly wasn’t a big deal. We were in and out in a fairly decent amount of time we did have to spend some time at the check-out counter disputing some of the charges they were telling us we owed. It worked out in our favor at the moment but our insurance is trying to not approve some of the procedures from last round of AI so we are just bracing ourselves for the bill. Between 2pm & 4pm is when we will get the call that will be our life changing confirmation that the test were right and that we are in fact pregnant.
After the doctor I went home with the intentions to clean the house but instead spent the whole day sleeping on the couch. My goodness I’m exhausted!! Around 1:30ish Marissa called and we talked on the phone for a good 2 hours and during that time the dr. called my cell phone I let it go to voice mail and just listened to the message which said, “your blood work came back positive and your estrogen level looks great and your predictive level (HCG) was at 177 which is good we will see you Monday morning at 9am for more blood work to monitor your levels to make sure they are rising appropriately.” I didn’t even know what to do I wanted to cry, throw-up you name it I wanted to do it. I let Marissa know the dr. report and then I text Daniel and let him know. Marissa was ecstatic and couldn’t wait to tell the whole world but I made her promise not to say anything yet we wanted to wait before we told anyone. Daniel and I talked on the phone and we were both super excited but I know for me there was still this sense of something might go wrong. I was getting ready for church and hopped in the shower where I began to talk to God and I was basically convicted for not wanting to shout our news from the mountain tops. He was like “are you kidding, you aren’t going to tell anyone yet? Do you not believe that I have answered your prayers and have given you your promise?” In that instance I realized that we needed to tell people not to wait until after the second round of blood work or till we heard the heart beat we needed to begin to share with family and close friends what God had done. After church Pastors Charlie and Marissa prayed with us to seal our news and we shared with them both our fears and finally our decision on sharing our news with everyone. Pastor Charlie encouraged us not to hide the news but to share so that our close network of people who have gotten us through this could continue to pray us through. So we came home and talked and decided to tell our families.


Nov. 25, 2008
So this morning was much like yesterday morning I quietly got out of bed and did the test, immediately the digital one said pregnant. I just kept staring at it waiting for the NOT part to pop up but it didn’t. Then the dollar store one had a second line I processed quickly that what my eyes were seeing were 2 more positive pregnancy tests. I woke Daniel up and told him and we decided that it was safe to call the doctor and schedule blood work. Unfortunately, my morning is already full and I won’t be able to go in until tomorrow @ 7:45am. I know both of us are processing so many things we were excited but we know better than to get our hopes up.


Nov. 24, 2008
So I woke up on this morning and was relived that we had made it, the two week wait was up and I could take a test. I quietly got out of bed and went to the bathroom to do the pregnancy test. It’s a digital one so it is activated by your pee and you see an hour glass until it pops up with the words “pregnant” or “not pregnant” very easy to read only this one did the hour glass and went blank. I must have stared at that test FOREVER I wasn’t sure what mode to enter into because it didn’t say yes or no it said NOTHING. So when Daniel awoke I told him about the test and we decided to just get another one and take it later…ughh more waiting.
On my way to work I stopped by the dollar tree and picked up 3 tests for $3 (when you’ve been doing this as long as we have you learn to be thrifty on your test spending). And you guessed it when I got to work I couldn’t wait I took a test and a faint pink line popped up I couldn’t believe it. I sent Daniel a text message and he was like, “Really?” “Are you sure?” So I sent him a picture text of the test. He immediately looked up on the internet to see how dark that second line should be to have an accurate positive and everywhere he looked said as long as there is a line it’s a true positive. So we text back and forth and decided to take another test that night when we got home and we got another second line. Could it be could we have actually conceived?? We both were in shock and decided to take the last dollar store test and one more “fancy” digital one just to be sure we were getting true positives before we called the dr.


Nov. 18, 2008
So there is six days and counting before I can pee on that famous stick that will tell us if we accomplished conception this month or suffer from failure once again. Daniel and I were talking yesterday and I think that this go around with the AI we haven’t been letting ourselves talk about it. I know for me last time I day dreamed about how we would tell everyone, calculated my due date, and functioned like I had definitely conceived. But this time its different there is a sense of numbness that has lingered over from our negative results from last month. Of course daily the thought and the wonder of is it our time is always there but I have put a stop to the day dreaming and haven’t allowed myself to focus or be wrapped around the stress of trying to monitor every little thing my body is doing and attribute it to we have conceived. The holidays are quickly approaching us and I am dreading them. While there is that hope that this holiday season will be a joyous occasion for us and we will be able to share with friends and family that we are expecting a bundle of joy maybe even two. There is always that constant reminder in the back of my head that reminds me of the two years that we haven’t conceived and also the memory of our time with Kayleigh last holiday season. I just don’t know if I can fake a happy smile this year when all of our family with new little ones are so excited about their baby’s first Thanksgiving or Christmas or when friends that have easily conceived are around with their newly pregnant bellies with their little one growing inside. Being empty handed this holiday season I think would take a lot out of me! So as the invitations start rolling in for various occasions my sense of wanting to run away is growing stronger and stronger… I know I have to get myself under control and that no matter what the results of this AI turns out to be I will survive and will move on and get up and try again. I am just tired but I have to stop and remind myself of the phrase I tell the kids in youth all the time. When I am not enough HE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH!! Like I have said before I have no clue how people walk through fertility without the comfort of God. Although fear and doubt and unbelief do creep in at times I am confidant that God is for me and not against me and that His way and timing is perfect so I just need to be still and know that He is God. So today I chose to let the stress and what ifs be silent and to let His peace and comfort be my strength. And know matter what my heart chooses to sing “I will bring praise I will bring praise no weapon formed against me shall remain I will rejoice I will declare God is my victory and He is here”


Nov. 10, 2008
Today was our second go at artificial insemination. I felt more peaceful this go around maybe it’s because I knew what to expect or maybe it is the sweet presence of God that I encountered at church yesterday still lingering in my spirit. We still are seeing another dr. I guess our normal one has been at a conference this weekend that’s why we have been cared for by the other dr. The one today was very informative and explained to us that Daniel’s count was high and the mobility looked good and that the info from yesterday’s sonogram showed that my uterus lining was ready and that we should have a better chance this go round. So there is our hope, it has been planted in our hearts and now our two week wait starts all over again. We are expecting break through this month!!


Nov. 9, 2008
Today we were on a crunch time to get to the dr, by 7:45am for my examination, shot, and then head to church in time to conduct worship practice before church starts at 10am. We waited and waited and finally at 8:15am the nurse called me back to take my vitals normally at this point Daniel comes with me and then they put us in a room to wait for the dr. But not this time the nurse told him oh your wife will be right back. While she was taking my vitals she told me that the only dr. that was there that morning was doing a emergency egg retrieval and it would be another 30 or 45 mins. I sat there frozen thinking that we didn’t have time to wait we had to get to church and my stress and emotional level rose so high. I went back to Daniel and told him about the wait and he said he was going to have to go and I bravely said ok just call someone to pick me up. For those of you that know me I HATE SHOTS and on my last cycle when I had to get one I had to go by myself and I was a basket case. So this time I was more peaceful because I had the thought that Daniel would be there to hold my hand. But then I found myself sitting in the waiting room all by myself my support system had just left and I had to be brave and fight back the tears. I got called back to the room and waited another hour or so for the dr. to come and do the examination it felt like 100 years before he came and my poor friend that came to pick me up was waiting in the parking garage for me for that whole long hour. The examination finally took place and the eggs had grown to the proper size and were ready for insemination the next day. The nurse came in and gave me my big bad shot in the hip that didn’t even hurt and I was finally on my way out of that place with an appointment in hand to be inseminated the next day. When I reached my friends car I sat in the seat and fell apart I was so overwhelmed with my morning and had held my tears back from the moment Daniel had to leave until then and I couldn’t do it anymore. I just always remember the faces of the couples and women that are in the waiting room and I am on one hand thankful that we have Jesus to hold our hand through this long journey but then I am also so saddened because I know that everyone in there is longing for a child and some go through emergency egg retrievals and so many other intense procedures without the knowledge that God is for them and not against them. I am so tired and weary of this journey but I refuse to sit down and let the circumstances get the best of me. My flesh wanted to go home today and get in bed and cry and get away from the world but my spirit screamed the words of “Pastor Daniel” saying what if this is the one service you let your flesh get in the way of your appointment with God. So I had a good cry and my dear friend and I headed to church where I did have an appointment with God. I am so thankful for my Pastors and church friends who have encouraged us and loved us through all of this. And although I have had an emotional day full of tears I am thankful that I have God on my side and that we have made better progress this time with less meds and that my body is responding and functioning more and more the way it is suppose to. I pray that I will never have to walk someone else through this journey because I would never wish any of this on anyone. But I am looking forward to telling our story over and over again and pointing to our children and letting the world know that with God ALL things are possible and no matter what your hearts desire is He will bring it to you. The road might not be the easiest traveled road but He will never leave you or forsake you even on the bumpiest part. I am so thankful for the hope that Daniel and I have and I am thankful for the incredible man of God that I have to walk with me through it all.


Nov. 7, 2008
Today is the 12th day of my cycle and its time to go in and see if my body responded to the first round of meds and see if it has produced big eggs this cycle. Daniel and I are on our way out of town to see Coldplay and we were expecting a quick little trip to the doctor than we would hit the road for some fun. But to our surprise we had a long three hour wait ahead of us. Our normal doctor wasn’t in the office so we had to wait to see another dr., who was backed up trying to take care of both sets of patients. Every time we go to the fertility dr. which is weekly I find myself sitting in the waiting room staring and observing people wondering what their story is. To me our situation has been so hard and unbearable at times I know that other couples are sitting there with worse situations and don’t have the hope and comfort that Daniel and I have. We might not always walk in that hope and comfort everyday but we have the knowledge of how to tap into it. Sitting in that waiting room every week gives me the reminder to be thankful for the little things people breeze in and out of there rushing in for different procedures but I know that most of them have a hole in their hearts bigger than ours, that their emotions are raging and they have no clue how to contain them or fill that void the only hope they have is in the dr. I sometimes want to get up on the coffee table and scream out the goodness of God and how much comfort He can bring. When we finally saw the dr. he examined me and found three eggs that were almost matured to the stage appropriate for insemination. The dr. just said lets give it till Sunday and then come back in I was to begin monitoring my LH surge and if I hadn’t gotten a positive by Sunday they would give me the hormone shot to drop the eggs and we would be inseminated on Monday or if I had gotten a positive they would inseminate me on Sunday. Daniel and I both asked “so we don’t need another round of meds this cycle?” I think we were in shock because last time we had to have two rounds of meds. So finally we were off to our travels out of town I was so excited to be getting out of town and very thankful that I didn’t have to take anymore meds for this month. I know for me and Daniel too we were so shocked that we could be being inseminated in 2 or 3 days. Last time we have a couple of weeks to process the procedure and all that comes with it. But this time we were on the express train and couldn’t get off to process.


Our Journey
One of the first things that we decided early on in our relationship was that “one day” we would have a house full of kids…. Daniel and I both love kids of all ages and over the course of the last 8 years we have been apart of many children’s lives loving them like they were our own. Exactly 2 years ago we decided that we were at a point in our lives where we wanted to start our own family. I tossed the birth control pills in the garbage October 2006, and we started working towards having a baby. Growing up sometimes we have the sweetest scene painted in our head of a large stork bird landing on the door step and dropping a new born baby off. After several months of us trying and not conceiving the childish picture of the stork delivery seemed to be the easiest way to go although I couldn’t find a stork that would deliver! Each month was filled with hope that our little one that we longed for could be on its way but then would end with disappointment and a sense of failure that words can’t even explain when our goal wasn’t achieved. Along this bumpy journey we had the opportunity to care for a baby girl. Kayleigh came into our lives March 13, 2007. Many of you know the story but for those of you who don’t, Kayleigh was born to a teenager from our church that just couldn’t seem to transfer over into motherhood. So by the end of May we began getting Kayleigh on the weekends so that her mother could work to provide for her. We looked forward to every Friday when we would pick little bit up and were deeply saddened when we would have to drop her off on Sunday nights. This went on for several months until finally it got to the point where the mother wasn’t and couldn’t provide for Kayleigh. Daniel and I felt like we should offer to take Kayleigh in permanently until either the mom could get it together or possibly even adopt her if she couldn’t get it together but our prayer all along was that mom could get it together. So in late August of 2007, Kayleigh moved in with us. God used us in that baby girl’s life during the several months she was in our care to pour love, security, and peace into her. Even though we were hurting and aching inside, because we longed for our own child, we put all that aside and poured into Kayleigh. Through our time with her we grew closer together and we learned how to cherish every moment. On the spiritual side we became watchmen on the wall for that baby girl and we fought for her through prayer. In December of 2007, her mom decided to take her back and we were left empty handed and heartbroken. Now at the end of every month we had a pink nursery full of baby clothes to stare us in the face at that “time of the month.”
During all of this time we couldn’t quit, we still knew even through our trials and hurt that God was in control, and that we would continue to declare His goodness. Daniel and I are the Youth Pastors and Worship leaders at our church and even though we felt like our world was crumbling around us our leadership position forced us to stand strong. We have done our best to stand strong and put on a smile even at the hardest times over the past two years. At every happy “we are pregnant” announcement from friends and family we would have to stand by and smile while inside we were heartbroken and couldn’t understand why our turn hadn’t come. In January 2008, we began to seek the help of doctors, which to our annoyance couldn’t find anything wrong. When you are dealing with infertility you want something to be wrong so that there is some kind of justification to your failure. After several months of doctors care we were referred to a fertility specialist in September 2008, and we began several different treatments with him. By this time we hit rock bottom “putting on a smile” for every baby announcement or every time we saw another pregnant woman or a happy couple walking down the street with their strollers just wasn’t working for us anymore. We both were hurting, confused, and felt like we couldn’t go on anymore. We were tired and couldn’t do it anymore. We didn’t want another prayer or word spoken over us that told us of our promise or that it was coming. All we wanted was God to fix whatever was wrong, heal us and give us our baby. We began to seek the council of our Pastors and realized that we had been carrying the burden of infertility by ourselves for far to long we needed someone to help hold our arms up during the time we were the weariest. We knew God was in control, we knew of His greatness, and how awesome He is. We had just been beat down with defeat for two years and it finally took a toll on us. Though through each level of disappointment that we experienced we would receive a new level of grace to try again and keep pushing forward.
While our pastors were speaking life into our spiritual side the doctor was monitoring our physical. We both went through different tests and fertility treatments; some of mine were pretty intense and I began meds to make me ovulate and produce eggs. In a matter of a few visits we found ourselves on the road to Artificial Insemination. This leg of our journey has been the most emotional thus far. Over the course of two weeks I was pumped full of meds and in and out of the doctor’s office every few days to check to see if there was a response from my ovaries to the meds. The first round of meds only produced several little eggs in each ovary and to be an Artificial Insemination candidate you must have 1 or more large eggs in each ovary for a better chance of fertilization success. Finally, after the second round of meds two LARGE eggs were found, one in each ovary. Excitement filled our hearts again we were getting so close to our goal. I received a shot that visit that would put the correct amount of hormones into my body to release the eggs. Daniel and I would go in the next day on October 9th, so that I could be inseminated. We both were hopeful and at peace, our pastors laid hands on us the night before and my heart just knew that our time was coming. The procedure was painless and then our two week wait began. Over the course of those weeks we let ourselves get back into hopeful mode. We hadn’t been this hopeful for a long time. On one of the Sunday mornings during that two week waiting time I led a song in church by Hillsong called Desert Song. Here are the words:

This is my prayer in the desert when all that’s within me feels dry.
This is my prayer in the hunger and need my God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire in weakness or trial or pain there is a faith proved more worth than gold so refine me Lord through the flame

I will bring praise I will bring praise no weapon formed against me shall remain I will rejoice I will declare God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle when triumph is still on its way I am conquer and coheir with Christ so firm on His promise I stand

I will bring praise I will bring praise no weapon formed against me shall remain I will rejoice I will declare God is my victory and He is here

All of my life in every season you are still God and I have a reason to sing I have a reason to worship. All of my life in every season you are still God and I have a reason to sing I have a reason to worship.

This is my prayer in the harvest when favor and providence I know I’m filled to be empty again the seeds I’ve received I must sow.

This song has been mine and Daniel’s life over the last two years. When I heard this song for the first time I cried and cried it really ministered to me right where I was in the desert, dry, in the fire, etc. But through it all the whole time the cry of my heart was to bring praise, to rise above it all and overcome. That very Sunday not only did I break through some personal barriers by leading a song in worship but I broke through spiritually. I knew that no matter what if we got a positive or negative pregnancy test, this time I was going to respond differently. We went the whole two weeks without any sign of my period and on October 23rd, the glorious day that I could take a pregnancy test, I did and it SCREAMED at Daniel and I, “NOT PREGNANT”. I don’t care how many of those you see, you never get use to the bomb that it launches on your heart and your emotions. Daniel and I were both crushed. How much more could we take we were so close this time and it all halted with one little stick you pee on. I cried off and on for two days I was so numb inside but all the time deep down inside my heart was and still is singing “I will bring praise I will bring praise no weapon formed against me shall remain I will rejoice I will declare God is my victory and He is here. All of my life in every season you are still God and I have a reason to sing I have a reason to worship.”
It has been so different this time because even though my heart hurts and is saddened by our empty nest I know that we are making it and I know that God is for us not against us. And that’s enough for me its enough for me to start my meds again and to begin the road to artificial insemination again because I know that God is in control and I trust him. Recently, I had the privilege of helping a friend work on her children’s church classroom and was also there for her first morning as the lead teacher. As I sat in the class and looked around I saw all these little kids that were there and I was overwhelmed with the call that God has placed on mine and Daniel’s life to be a spiritual mother and father to this generation. Whether we are in “kid’s church” or in our youth group our lives are full of “kids” that we can take ownership of and love and pour ourselves into them. Although sometimes our longing for our own baby overwhelms us we still have so much love for those little ones He has placed around us and we already always have “a house full of kids”.